I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
