soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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