dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I will be naked everywhere
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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