i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
