i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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