why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
