you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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