I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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