I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
