Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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