You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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