i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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