My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
