just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
