I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
