Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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