I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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