was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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