Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
