yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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