k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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