i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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