There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
