that's an acceptable place to lick
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
