I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
