I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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