I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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