my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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