I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
