Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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