I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
