i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
