I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
