I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
