I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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