im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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