I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
