she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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