i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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