I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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