Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
