He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
