I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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