I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
