it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
