What a fucking waste of an outfit
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I FOUND THE LEGS
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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