Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
