ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
this is an emotional support booty call
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
