My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
