I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
